What does not bend, breaks

Now that we’ve set a departure date, I’ve been reflecting a lot on how much living in this wild place, often alone, has changed me. In particular, and inspired by a grove of bamboo that I’ve only just learned to love, how much stronger I’ve become.

Backwoods living has tested my strength physically and emotionally and I’ve discovered a depth of resourcefulness I never knew I had.

I am proud of my strong arms and that I’m no longer afraid when I hear wild dogs howling at the moon or when I wake up to the smell of bushfires in the forest at night.

What’s absent now though is the stubborn, white knuckled and rigid view of strength I came here with.

A softer more intelligent strength has taken its place. A strength that is not afraid of bowing humbly before adversity knowing just like the bamboo, it will bend and not break.

I lost a lot of metaphorical stems along the way though before I realised my un natural view of strength no longer served me. Unlike me, this unwelcome ‘tuft’ of bamboo has weathered every storm and has never lost a stem other than to natural causes.

Now though, like the bamboo, I’ve noticed a flexibility and an elegance to the way I stand my ground too. In harmony and in integrity with the nature that I am.

And just like this honourable bamboo has watched over me and my family, warding off unwelcome spiritual guests, I too am resolute, a custodian of the land I stand on. No longer afraid of being brought to my knees, because I trust that my deep roots, my connection to all that is, will hold me.

Originally published at iamamandala.com.